Pancakes, Pizza, and the L-word
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: America tells Italy the story of how he got Belarus to date him.
1. M&M Pancakes

She looked up from her breakfast. Well, that is if you could call this strange concoction breakfast. It certainly didn't look like any sort of edible food she's seen before. And that's saying something because she's been at her boyfriend's apartment in New York for the past few days.

She frowned. "What is this?"

Her boyfriend laughed as he set his plate of the same odd-looking substance on the table. "Its breakfast, sourpuss!"

"I didn't ask what it's supposed to be I asked what it is, swine."

He grinned. "Its pancakes with M&M's, a mushroom cloud's worth of whip cream, more M&M's, and colorful sprinkles!"

"And this is supposed to breakfast?"

"Hell, yeah. Try it you're going to love it!"

She poked her what should be a pancake with her fork. "I doubt it."

He took a seat. "Why not? Its good for you."

"Seriously? Do you even know what nutrition is?"

"Isn't that the listed boring crap on the side of a cereal box?"

She just rolled her eyes.

"So why don't you try it?" he asked again.

"I never been a fan of a lot of sugar at once."

"No, you just don't know that you're actually a fan of a lot of sugar at once."

"No. I really don't like things that sugary."

"No. You just have eaten sugary things right."

"You're making no sense, swine."

"Its like the time you said that you hated my nickname for you. Remember when you said that? You're pretty cool with my nickname for ya now and-"

She cut him off. "I still hate that you call me 'sourpuss' but I've learned to tolerate it."

"So learn to tolerate my amazing pancake creation. I put extreme M&M's on it for it can be beautiful like you, sourpuss."

"What can possibly be a better pickup line than that?" She set her fork down. "I think if I try this I'll immediately die of diabetes or something."

"Dude, food can't kill ya 'cause you eat for it before it eats you."

"How did I ever manage to fall for you? You're so not my type."

He laughed. "Yeah, I know right? My good looks and personally charm can make anybody think twice about the angry mob they'll encounter if they fall for me."

"I'm not getting you."

"Well, clearly I have butt loads of admires 'cause I'm that freaking awesome and hot. And clearly these admires have to fight each other for my attention. So, that clearly means that anybody would think twice about falling for me."

She shrugged. "I guess that makes some sort of weird sense."

"Of course it does. Now try my pancakes!"

She picked up her fork. "You're not going to stop bothering me until I try your pancakes, huh?"

He chuckled. "Well duh. I would say that I forbid you from leaving this table until you clean your plate, but I don't want to be the jerk type boyfriend."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, thank goodness that I have the stupid type boyfriend instead of the jerk type."

"Hey, I'm not stupid! Don't call me the stupid type boyfriend, sourpuss."

"Sure you're not, swine."

He smiled. "Just try the breakfast I made for you. There ain't many boyfriends that make breakfast for their girlfriends."

"And there aren't many boyfriends that call their girlfriends a sourpuss."

"Hey, I only call ya that 'cause you make that sour face all the time. And you call me swine all the time." He picked up his fork and started eating his pancake.

She stabbed the breakfast he made for her with her fork. "That's because you are a swine… swine."

He put more of his pancake in his mouth. "I…. am… not… a… swine."

"Why are you talking with food in your mouth?" She frowned. "I thought I discussed proper table manners with you."

He swallowed his food. "Dude, if you actually tried my epic pancakeness then you wouldn't care about all that table manner crap."

She looked at the pancake piece she stabbed onto her fork. "I really don't see how this could possibly be edible."

"Sourpuss, my pancake creations are beyond edible."

She twirled her fork in her had. "Well it certainly looks beyond something."

"Just try it, sourpuss."

Before she could say anything else to insult her boyfriend's pancake creation the doorbell rang.

"That was the doorbell. Go check the door, swine."

Her boyfriend set his fork down and stood up from the table. "You better not throw away the breakfast I made for ya while I'm away from the kitchen."

She set her fork down. "Oh, I could never do that. Making breakfast was such a chivalrous gesture for you."

"Why do you sound sarcastic?"

"Since when are you able to read the atmosphere?"

He pushed in his chair. "Dude, I still not able to read that. Why does everybody want me to read that so badly? And why can't anybody just buy the stupid book for me? I can't find that book off Amazon or anything."

She smirked. "Just go get the door, swine."

He left the kitchen and went to the living room where he opened the front door and laughed so hard that she could hear it from the other room.

"What's going on over there?"

He chuckled again. "Belarus, things are great! My bro pasta man is here with that pizza I ordered for us yesterday!"

Their visitor laughed too. "Hi, Belarus! I'm sorry that I was late with the delivery going from my home to New York takes some time! Also I had to argue with the airport to get them to allow me to bring pizza on the plane!"

"I have no idea what you two are talking about!" Belarus frowned. "And can you both come to the kitchen to talk with me! I don't like calling back in front between rooms. My jerk boyfriend has forbidden me to leave the kitchen table unless I clean my plate!"

"That's not true!"

She laughed. "I'm just joking and come to the kitchen for we're not calling back and forth like this!"

"Okie Dokie!"

Her boyfriend and his friend left the living room and went back to the kitchen.

Her boyfriend's friend smiled at her when he saw her. "Hi, Belarus!"

"Hello Italy, what brings you to my swine's apartment?"

Italy smiled and held up the box of pizza he was carrying. "I'm here to delivery a pizza! Yesterday, Mr. America called me asking me to delivery a pizza!"

Belarus turned to her boyfriend. "America, why would you order a pizza from Italy all the way in Europe when we're in North America?"

America grinned. "Pizza is a food that has to be made from the heart to taste like a slice of heaven. I called Italy 'cause he knows pizza better than anybody and has a lot of heart. He could like be that kid with the heart ring on Captain Planet if he wanted too-"

"Really?" Their guest brightened. "That's such a nice thing of you to say!"

"You're welcome! Anyway, I called Italy to bring us pizza-"

"Didn't you also call Papa Johns?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I called those dudes when I realized that Italy will take forever to bring us pizza." He turned to their guest. "I'm not saying that I like their pizza better, bro, I'm just saying that I got tired of waiting. I like your pizza the best 'cause its like all Italian and stuff."

Italy brushed. "Ah, thanks Mr. America. You always say such nice things when your aware of what you're saying."

"Yeah, only when he's aware of what he's saying."

He frowned. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you don't know how to read the atmosphere, swine."

"I told you that book is impossible to find on Amazon!"

America's friend laughed. "I can't find that book anywhere either."

She rolled her eyes. "No wonder you two are friends. You two have a number of things in common."

America giggled and took the box of pizza from his friend. "Like a love for pizza!"

"I love pizza!"

He opened the box of pizza. "Wow, this pizza is a beautiful. I bet if it was a lady it would be sexier than my sourpuss."

"Hey!"

Italy laughed. "I have to ask, how did you two start dating? You guys have nothing in common." He turned to look at Belarus. "And I thought you were holding out for your big brother Russia."

Belarus sighed. "I was but my swine here was so insistent that I go out with him. Just like he's so insistent that I try these M&M pancakes he made for me."

America closed the pizza box. "Hey, there's more to the story than that! And just try my pancake creations already. You're going to love them!"

She picked up her fork. "I seriously doubt that."

"Do you mind telling me the whole story? I just love hearing a good love story. Love makes the world go round."

"Oh, sourpuss hasn't used the L-word yet."

Belarus set her fork down. "Neither have you, swine."

"When you guys use that word you should have a big party! With pasta, and pizza, and beautiful ladies, and-"

He cut his friend off. "Sounds cool dude. But, that might be some time. I never use the L-word first. I like to let the babes use it first."

She raised an eyebrow. "Just how many babes have told you that they loved you?"

"Not a lot, sourpuss. Your face can lose some sour. Babes just yell out 'I love ya Mr. America!' whenever I have a press conference or go to Comic Con or go to some place my boss drags me too. And I always yell back 'I love you too random babe'."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah really. Just eat your M&M pancakes!"

Belarus picked up her fork again. "Meh… okay."

"Dude, Italy, I'm going to put this pizza in the fridge for lunch later. I would open it up now, but it would be rude to eat in front of sourpuss. And if I did offer her some pizza, then it would ruin her breakfast." America opened the fridge and put the pizza in it and then closed it. "She doesn't have the epic stomach capacity I have."

"Okay."

"I'm glad you remember something about that conversation about table manner we had, swine."

"Of course I remembered." He laughed and turned to his guest. "Hey Italy, would you like a seat? I can fix ya up some M&M pancakes if you want."

Italy took a seat. "I ate breakfast already. Sorry about that Mr. America. I would have liked to have tried your pancake breakfast." He paused. "Uh… isn't what's his face… uh… Canada or something the pancake person?"

America laughed. "He's actually just the maple guy. Anybody can make pancakes. I think I'm better at pancake making than Canada."

"Oh, okay."

"You sure that you don't want any pancakes? I make the best ones 'cause I put M&M's in them."

"That's debatable."

"Hey sourpuss, you don't know what you're talking about 'cause you haven't tried them yet."

Italy laughed. "How did you two ever start going out anyway?"

"I told you already, the swine kept bothering me until I agreed to go out with him."

America sat back down at the table. "That's not the full story. The full story tells how awesome I am and stuff. Want to hear it, bro?"

His friend smiled. "I'd love to hear a good love-" he cut himself off "-uh romantic story."

"Well, then get ready to have your mind blow with this breathtaking tale. Begin epic flashback!"

"Oh dear goodness!"

**a/n**

**Chapter two is going to be the epic flashback. **

**If your OCD notices any grammar mistakes, then please don't hesitate to tell me. I promise that I'll do my best to correct any of the mistakes pointed out in the grammar department. **


	2. Kicked Out

**Epic Flashback**

America's stomach was very disappointed with him. It was singing its anger with a loud series of growling noises. It was humiliating, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Belarus, the girl sitting next to him, turned to frown at him. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, my stomach is trying to cave in on me," he whispered to her trying not to distract too much from Austria the speaker of the meeting.

"Why don't you do something about it?"

"Like what?"

"Eat something." She looked at him like he was an idiot. "I'm sure that you're carrying around something."

He checked his pockets. "I got nada."

She huffed. "You're so annoying."

"Hey, its just my stomach that's being annoying."

His stomach roared again which made England, who was sitting across the table, glare at them.

"Sorry, bro," he whispered.

"Just shut up," England hissed quietly back.

Belarus put her hand to her face. "Why did you have to sit next to me?"

"I'm pretty sure that you sat next to me, beautiful."

"Why would I do something like that?"

"I don't know, maybe because the seat was open?"

"You're obnoxious."

"I don't even know what that word means."

England glared at the two again. "Will you two shut the hell up?"

"Sorry," America whispered back.

His stomach growled again, which made both England and Belarus glare at him again.

"Why don't you try eating your stupid face off?" Belarus suggested.

"That's impossible."

"Shut up!"

Austria turned away from his PowerPoint presentation. "Is there a problem at the end of the table?"

"No-"

England cut off America's response. "Yes, Belarus and America won't shut up."

"The annoying swine won't stop making disgusting bodily noises." America's stomach growled loudly again. "Just like that!"

"Its not like I can control it!"

England placed his hand to his face. "Can we just kick the two out of the meeting?"

"I would hate for America to miss out-"

Switzerland cut Austria off. "What even is the importance of this meeting?"

"We're discussing the importance of music in-"

"Why is that important?" Switzerland asked cutting Austria off again. "Seriously, can't we all just go home?"

America's stomach growled again. "Dude, I really need some food like right now."

"I agree with Switzerland. We should all just go home before we all go crazy from listening to the swine's disgusting stomach growling."

"Hey, that's not going to make you go crazy!"

Austria sighed. "Belarus and America, you're excused from this meeting."

"Sweet!" America stood up from his chair to bolt to the door. "I'm going to go find a Panda Express!"

"Why just them?" Switzerland asked as America walked out the door. "I want to go home too."

"America doesn't think straight when he's hungry-"

"He never thinks straight," England added. A few countries nodded in agreement.

"Or when he's flirting with Belarus."

Belarus, who didn't leave the conference room yet, gave Austria a death glare. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, don't act like you don't notice it," England spat. "I bet he's waiting for you to walk out of this meeting for he can ask you if you want to go to lunch with him."

"You're just as annoying as the annoying swine," Belarus stated getting up from her seat. "I'm leaving and I'm not going to lunch with stupid America."

"Why can't I leave with them?" Switzerland asked as she walked out the front door. "Do you just need me here to make a donation towards your stupid music thing?"

Belarus didn't get to hear the answer to question she slammed the conference door before Austria could respond.

"Screw you guys I'm going home," she mumbled to herself.

"Hey, you picked up some of my American slang!" America said laughing, which made her jump in surprise. "Did you watch that episode of South Park I emailed you?"

Belarus turned to face him. "What are you still doing here? I thought you were finding a Panda Express."

"I was about to but then I thought you would like to come with me."

She groaned angry that England was right. "I'm not going anywhere with you, swine."

"Why not?" he asked as his stomach growled again. "I know for a fact that we both haven't ate lunch yet."

"I'm not hungry."

"It doesn't have to be Panda Express. Hell, I don't even know if there even is a Panda Express in Europe."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, swine," she repeated.

"We could go to Hard Rock."

"I said no."

"You didn't say no to Hard Rock."

"I said no to going to eat with you," she started walking down the hallway again. "Or anywhere with you for that matter."

He followed after her. "We don't have to go to eat," he stated as his stomach sang again.

"Really?" she asked sarcastically.

"Yeah not really. I seriously do need to eat something." He laughed as his stomach roared again. "Come on Belarus, can you not be such a sourpuss for once in your life?"

"Can you not be such a idiot for once in your life?"

"Just go out to eat with me. I'll buy."

"I said no," she said as they made it to the parking lot.

"Please!" he begged. "I don't want to be a loser eating by myself."

"You're already a loser," she stated looking around the parking lot. "Ah, rats."

"What is it?"

"I just remembered that I carpooled here with my brother and sister."

He jumped in excitement. "Yes! That means that you have to go with me or else you're stuck here, because your siblings are still in France's stupid meeting about France's stupid meeting problems. If they were at Austria's presentation, then they could have given you the keys. Oh, and we all know that France picked the conference room with the door that locks from the outside, so good luck trying to get the keys without interrupting anything."

"I'm perfectly fine with just waiting here for them." She sat down on the steps of the building.

"You're not going to have any fun waiting."

"I don't care."

"You're going to be bored out of your mind."

"Its better than being annoyed out of my mind."

He sat down next to her on the steps. "Then I'm waiting here with you."

His stomach growled in protest. "Go take care of your stupid stomach problems."

"No," he answered as his stomach growled again.

"That noise is disgusting."

"I can't help it."

"Yes you can. Leave and go feed yourself."

"I'm only leaving if you go with me."

His stomach made another disgusting noise. She put her hand to her face. "Fine! I'll go eat with you."

He stood up smiling. "Really?"

"I get to pick the restaurant, you're paying, you're not allowed to tell anybody that we went to eat together, and this is in no way a date," she clarified. "Got it?"

He nodded. "Yes ma'am!"

**A/N**

**Tada! I feel like Belarus and America are competing to see who can be more stubborn. **

**Please point out any mistakes you noticed with grammar. The sooner I fix them the better. **


	3. Begging For The Rest Of The Story

**Back To Regular Time **

Italy smiled. "So, after that it all went wonderfully perfect and you two ended up together?"

Belarus used her fork to pick on her pancakes. "Not exactly."

"Nope," America agreed with his girlfriend giving an awkward laugh. "Actually, everything went totally wrong after that."

Belarus rolled her eyes and set her fork down again. "That's an understatement."

"Really?" the guest asked. "What happened?"

America looked at his girlfriend for reassurance. "Think the rest of the story is worth telling?"

"Think these pancakes are worth eating?"

"They have M&M's in them plus I made them, so yes." He laughed. "I guess we're telling our guest the story."

"No, we're not."

"Why?"

"Are we trying to win a contest for most humiliating story?" she asked.

"They have contests for that?" he asked. "Oh, and try my epically awesome pancakes already!"

She sighed. "Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to put myself in a more humiliating story by dating you."

He snorted. "Hey, I'm a total badass boyfriend who makes total badass pancakes!"

"Sure you are swine." Belarus kissed her boyfriends cheek. "Putting colorful candy in a pancake is clearly the definition of badass."

"You guys are just so adorable together!" Italy squealed at their display of affection. "Please, please, please, you have to tell me the rest of the story!"

"I'm not telling it."

"Smart idea. I'll tell it while you enjoy epic mouth parties by eating the epic pancakes I made you."

"Yay!" the guest cheered.

Belarus gave America a death stare. "You're not telling him the rest."

America picked up his girlfriend's hand. "Sorry bro. But if my babe's not down for it, I'm not telling it."

"But I have to know!"

Belarus squeezed her boyfriend's hand. "Sorry Italy, but you're just going to have to do without knowing."

"But I have to know!" Italy pleaded again. "Please, I love to hear a good love story. And you two are totally different. I want to know how it's even possible for you two to get together and be in love?"

"Dude, you're getting a little l-word happy."

"Sorry, but I really want to hear this story. I'm still finding it hard to believe that you two could decide to be with each other. You're just so different-"

"More like polar opposites," Belarus added. "Don't worry Italy. Our relationship is legit. I'm not being held here captive against my will, and these strange pancake creations don't have drugs in them to make me tolerate this obnoxious swine."

"Yeah, I guess so. I haven't actually seen you eat any of those pancakes," Italy joked. "There could be drugs in them."

"Hey, there's no drugs in my awesome pancake creations," America stated. "If you just tried them already you would know. Unless you count deliciousness as a drug. If you count that as a drug then you're about to get high from flavor."

Belarus picked her fork up and then set it back down. "I don't think you put drugs in my food, swine. Since they're mostly illegal in your home and you're too stupid to make a drug trade."

"So, Mr. America is just holding Belarus against her will without using any drugs?" Italy asked jokingly. "I don't really think that you're holding her against her will, Mr. America. I was just making a joke."

"Why does everybody ask me if I'm holding Belarus against her will? Is it that hard for people to believe that we just both want to be together?"

She laughed and kissed her boyfriends cheek again. "You got to admit that it's understandable."

"I don't understand how it could be understandable. I mean really, I'm a sexy beast you're super hot. How does that not make sense to people? Do they think that-"

Belarus cut her boyfriend off with a quick peck on the lips. "Your constant blabbing is what makes it unbelievable."

"Hey! I don't have constant blabbing-"

She gave him another peck. "Just shut up."

Their guest squealed again. "The adorableness is just too much! I love that Belarus uses kisses to get you to stop your constant blabbing-"

"Hey, I don't have constant blabbing."

Belarus rolled her eyes and didn't kiss him this time. "Yes, you do."

"Hey, where's my kiss?"

"You're abusing your power of constant blabbing," she stated before kissing him anyway.

Italy smiled. "Please, please, please," he pleaded again. "You two are just too adorable together. I have to know how all the death stares, death threats, and irritations turned into… well this." He gestured towards them.

America laughed. "Believe me I would love to tell you the story, but its just a little too embarrassing of a story."

"That's very much an understatement."

"If it's too embarrassing I won't tell anybody," their guest promised. "Please, please, please, you have to just tell me and me only. Nobody will know the story except me and you two."

America looked at his girlfriend. "He really wants to know our story, sourpuss."

"But he's not going to hear it, swine."

"Why can't I hear it? Please, please, please I promise that I won't tell anybody. I won't laugh or anything. I just really really really want to know how you too got together."

"I think we better tell him, sourpuss. He's getting really please happy."

"I don't think that he'll be able to keep it to himself, swine. It's just that high of a level of humiliation."

"You don't have to go into full detail of the humiliating parts," Italy suggested. "Unless they're really important parts of the story. You don't have to tell me everything. Just tell me how you're together."

America laughed. "The details are kinda important, bro. Just like M&M's are important in pancakes."

"What if you just toned the details down to not being as humiliating?"

America looked at Belarus for assurance. "Would it be okay if I tell the story with toned down humiliating parts?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. I'll shut you up if you go into more detail than necessary."

"With kisses?"

"Don't push your luck."

"I'll take that as a yes."

Italy squealed. "Yay!"

"All right! Italy is going to listen to my awesome story, while Belarus tries her epic pancakes and enjoys an orgasm in her mouth-"

"Do you even listen to the words that come out of your mouth?"

"Nope, and try not to interrupt me when I'm telling the rest of the awesome story, sourpuss," America said. "Time to reenter the epic flashback!"

**A/N**

**Chapter is posted later 'cause chapter is posted later. Point out any grammar mistakes in a review please. The sooner I fix them the better. Or just give a regular review. I don't care. Happy New Year! **


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